Shonell Bacon and JDaniels
October 2002
ISBN 0971195315
Retail Price $15.00
Lies, abuse, infidelity, sex, intrigue, international romance - a cornucopia of events play out in the relationships of Luvalwayz, a novel that intertwines the tales of three couples, brought together by friendship and love:
Christopher and Tamara are in a relationship already strained by emotional baggage...will sexual indiscretions ruin them?
After years of hiding the pain of abuse through being loose, ghetto sistah extraordinaire Shameika - with the aid of the militant yet soulful brotha, Jamal - try to break through her past to finally reach 'happily ever after'.
When straight-laced, professional Deandra finds out that her sister has been kidnapped, she seeks the aid of playa of the year, Stephen to help in the rescue, but it is Deandra who might need rescuing...from Stephen.
Shonell Bacon is co-founder and chief editor of The Nubian Chronicles. She is currently pursuing a master's degree in creative writing and English at McNeese State University in Lake Charles, Louisiana.
JDaniels is a staff writer, co-founder, and an editor for the online e-magainze The Nubian Chronicles and is the co-founder and web developer for TNC Communications. A member of the Black Writers Alliance and R.A.W. Sistaz, JD lives in King William, Virginia.
Tamara…
My mind and body were just getting at a place where they could "rest" when I heard all this loud banging at my front door. I jumped, almost dropping my Corona.
"Tamara!" I heard Chris yelling on the other side of my door. "Open this damn door. I gotta talk to you!"
I knew my neighbors would be calling the police soon, so I didn't even sass him back. After picking up the Corona, I ran to the door and swung it open.
"What the…," I managed to yell out before noticing the drunken anger on Chris' face. "What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice lowered.
"I need to talk to you," he said. "We need to talk....now."
I shook my head, but allowed him to come in. Slamming the door, I turned to face him, and found him taking off what little I had on with his eyes.
There was this look Chris had. I called it the SEX look. His eyes would get this sexy, oozy appeal to them and his whole aura radiated sex when he looked at me that way, like he was now. I could feel his lips touch every part of me, without touching me.
"You're in," I said, whispering, my voice caught in my throat. "What do you want?"
I knew Chris liked to have a drink every now and then. Hell, so did I. It was like he sobered up as soon as he walked through my door. The outfit I was wearing didn't help.
"Don't you think this has gone on long enough?" he started. "There is nothing going on between Dana and me, and you should believe that."
Why should I believe that?" I asked, throwing my hands up on my bare hips.
"Because you say so?"
"Yea, as a matter of fact. I've never lied to you before, so why would I do it now?"
"I don't know why you men lie, I really don't."
"Tamara," Chris sighed, walking over to me. I started to step away, but didn't. I needed to talk about this. Chris stepped up close to me, close enough for me to smell the faint odor of gin and the cologne that I loved.
His fingers lightly traced my jaw and over my lips. "I love you, Baby," he started again. "I love you so much that this time apart has been killing me. I haven't gotten any work done, I haven't slept, barely ate, nothing. All I've been doing is calling you and making sure you were okay."
I began to speak but he cut me off. "Today, with Dana, she begged and begged and begged me to drop her off at the mall, and I told her that what she did the day we had the falling out was wrong, and that I loved you, wanted you. It was purely friend-wise that I took her to the mall, and once we got there, she begged me to go in with her."
"Do you always do what women want you to do when they beg?" I asked. I was swooning hard with every word he said, but there was just something inside me that didn't want this dead…not just yet, anyway.
"No," he said. "I don't. I just didn't feel like arguing, not even with her. I'm sick of fighting and I just want to love you, Tamara. Just you. Only you."
"I really want to believe you, Baby." I sighed, my lips in a pout. "I really do."
I felt his eyes rake over my body and I shivered. No man had ever been able to make me feel so electric. "You are so beautiful," he whispered. "So beautiful, and so sexy." His fingers lightly slid from my face, along my neck, and over my breasts, lightly pinching my already stiff nipples. I let out a slow moan, as he began to massage my breasts and pinch my nipples. "I want you so much, Tamara," Chris groaned in my ear. "Let me show you how much I love you, Baby."
I lost the fight. There wasn't even a need for me to try. I remember watching movies, seeing a man do wrong, and then come to the girl, tell her how much he loved her, wanted only her, and before the whole necessary conversation was over, he had her butt naked, crying out his name. I didn't like those women. To me, they were weak because they should have said no and finished the damn conversation, but I couldn't. My body was aching for Chris and I was tired of raising my voice and yelling. I was tired of arguing and being confused. Making love to Chris didn't consist of any of those things -- maybe yelling, but it's the good kind of yelling.
His warm lips kissed up my neck and connected with my awaiting mouth and I groaned, remembering and loving how it felt to have his mouth on mine, his tongue playfully dodging and playing tag with mine. Chris pushed me up against the door and his hands roamed all over my body, over my breasts, down my stomach, and around to my butt, his hands slipping beneath the boxers, each hand squeezing a handful of the roundness. He groaned.
In one swift movement, Chris had me out of my boxers, and began to slide my thong down over my butt, my thighs, and my legs. When I stepped out of them, he quickly lowered his mouth down to my already wet hotspot. He kissed me all over as I cried out. Two weeks were nearly too long to not have him on some part of my body.
I felt my knees buckle, but his strong hands kept me up, up against the door, while his tongue kept me whimpering as he took long licks up and down, licking and sucking, finding my already hard button, needing him. I was lost, his tongue circling my clit, licking it, sucking it, flicking it, had me in a tailspin. His hands were kneading my butt and his mouth and tongue were kneading my throbbing button.
I bucked, I moaned, I cried, I whimpered, I shook, I came, hard and long, my body tingling all over, from the inside out. When I began to calm down, Chris began lazily kissing up my body. As he got to my stomach, I looked down, my hands running along his cheeks, but my eyes caught a glimpse of something on the back of his tee-shirt. Around the collar, on the back there was a reddish-brown blotch.
My body ran cold, and I pushed Chris away. "What's that on your shirt?" I asked, my voice extremely loud. Chris stumbled back, looking confused, wondering where our connection had gone. "What are you talking about?" he asked. "Where?" He looked over the front of his shirt, and didn't see anything.
"Look on the back of the collar," I said, again loudly.
He still looked confused, but I could see the moment he saw what I did. He didn't look as confident, as sure of himself. He looked, defeated. Here I was, ass all hanging out and he just came from seeing her? I snatched up my boxers and slipped them on.
"Chris!" I screamed. "You came over here to screw me after being with her?"
"Baby, listen, it wasn't like..."
"Shut up! Whose lipstick is that on your shirt, Chris? Whose? Dana? That ho Dana?"
As if on cue, the phone rang. I let it ring, Chris and I in a standoff. My answering machine went off, and a familiar voice came on. "Uh, Tammy...Tamara, this is Dana."
I jumped across the room and picked up the phone. My eyes shot knives at Chris who just stared at me, then the phone, and back to me. I clicked on speakerphone, and put down the receiver.
"I see we have a party here," I said, my voice cold and even. "Let's get it started."
Chris…
When it rains, it pours. Okay, let me say that more forcefully, don't want any misunderstanding here. When it rains, it fucking pours! I couldn't believe the type of day I was having. Just a couple of hours before I was sitting in my car, with a wet warm mouth working me like you wouldn't believe, and I pushed it back yep, why? Because I felt the guilt and wanted to do the right thing, and knew damn well I was wrong, and had no business with her. Now here I am, listening to this same so-called understanding chick dog me out. Nobody could ever tell me women can't be some sneaky bitches. Yea, she understood all right, understood that she couldn't wait to let Tamara on to what had went down, what she herself had instigated.
I could slowly feel the effects of my drinking binge wearing off as I listened to Dana on the speaker phone, giving Tamara her woman-to-woman talk, and by looking at Tamara, if looks could kill, let's just say I'd be a corpse.
"So I just felt you needed to know what the real deal was with me and Chris. I know you and he have been having problems, and uh, this evening something sort of happened," came Dana's fake cry of concern.
I looked silently at Tamara, shaking my head with a sigh. I decided to just give up and let them play their game.
"So just what are you trying to say, Dana?" asked Tamara.
"Well, we were talking, and then we sort-of...well, sorta started kissing, and touching. I feel real bad about it now."
A look of bitter rage came over Tamara's face. "You have got to be kidding me, right? You feel bad about it? Ha! You're a slut, Dana! I would expect nothing more from a ho!"
"You calling me a ho? Well Suga, if I am, I'm a damn good one, and Chris must of thought so, too, the way he was moaning and groaning when I sucked…his…dick," she crooned viciously.
Tamara caught her breath, her face flinching in shock, and me, I felt like praying, praying to whatever spirit being on call tonight to PLEASE take me, take me anywhere, but here.
Suddenly Tamara gave a strangled screech, lunging at me swinging wildly.
"You let her do you? You're a dog, Chris, a DOG!! I can't believe you! You let that skank ho blow you!" she cried.
"Stop it Tee, babe…it's not like you're thinking. Don't let her do this to us."
"I'm not your babe! I'm not yours!" Tamara cried hysterically.
"It's nothing like you're thinking," I pleaded, holding her arms down to stop her angry blows, although it was in vain, as she pulled loose, slapping me hard across the face. "Ouch! Stop it, goddamit! Stop hitting me in my damn face!"
"Chris? Chris, are you there?"
Both Tamara and I stopped at the sound of Dana's voice over the phone, both of us breathing hard, and looking at each other with mutual pain in our eyes. We suddenly remembered her presence on the phone.
"Will somebody please tell me what's going on over there?" Dana screamed.
"Let me up, Chris..." came Tamara's tired, hurt reply.
"Listen to me, Tamara…please?"
Tamara wiggled her way out of my arms, walked over to her phone, and disconnected Dana's call. Looking at her eyes from across the room, they appeared as deep pools, every emotion buried in their depths. If only I could read them, see inside her and know what her thoughts were.
"Leave now, Chris. It's over," she said, her cold expressionless eyes never leaving mine, never even blinking.
A sharp ache rumbled in my stomach. I felt as though I had been punched, and thought back to all the times when I had really been hanging out with my boy, Stephen, betting on who could run the better game, frontin' with women, really throwing them a line. Was this pay back? Was this the reaping of what was sown in my fuckalldababes days?
Shit. Why the hell was I putting myself through this torment, letting some double X chromosome diss me as if I had done something wrong, when I know I hadn't. I'm a man, goddamit! A grown ass man! And I stopped Dana, I really did. I didn't do anything wrong…
Grabbing my keys, I made my way to her apartment door and out into the night air, where I finally felt like I could breathe again, minus the sharp pains that was striking my belly with record speed. I was okay, I really was, I was.
So much for I love yous....
For more information, you can contact Shonell Bacon or JDaniels
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