In Missed Conceptions, Michelle DeLeon tells a poignant and captivating tale of love, friendship, and what it means to be a parent.
The owner of a successful cafe in Harlem, Shanneen Ross has attained one of her two life objectives. Now she's ready for a meaningful relationship, and a change of scenery sounds like the perfect plan. In Atlanta to help her cousin open a cafe of her own, Shanneen meets an attractive ex-marine named Jeroi Black. When their whirlwind affair results in pregnancy, Shanneen is delighted. Especially when Jeroi pops the question. Now all that's left is to meet Shanneen's family. But a disturbing revelation awaits them both at her Uncle Solomon's house.
Shanneen returns to New York, where she meets Sebastian Lew, a gifted artist who is about to become a father. When tragedy frees Sebastian from an unhealthy relationship, he and Shanneen try to make a go of it in the face of daunting obstacles. But Jeroi is waiting in the shadows, ready to destroy Shanneen's hard-won happiness. It will take courage, faith, and a lot of love for Shanneen and Sebastian to overcome the odds in this moving, sensual, and always surprising story of what it really takes to build a family.
CHAPTER TWO
Sebastian rolled over and looked at the digital clock on the nightstand. It read three a.m. He tried not to get pissed. It was not like Benet to stay out so late without calling. They were not married, but they respected one another. They’d been living together the last two years of their three- year relationship. He and Benet had grown comfortable with one another. She was special to him and he loved her dearly. He was confident that she felt the same way. Benet was a hopeless romantic. She had decorated their place with candles and dried flowers. It was soft and inviting without being too feminine. He let her rearrange everything when she moved in with him. She had gotten a kick out of it. She had found all kinds of bargains around the city. She loved shopping on 125th Street and Canal Street. She was a New York City girl all the way.
Sebastian raised himself up out of bed. He tapped on the light. The touchable lamp was another bargain Benet had found. He thought about phoning one of her girlfriends, but if she weren’t there, they would curse his ass like there was no tomorrow.
He even thought about calling the police, but knew they wouldn’t do anything about his woman being a few hours late coming home. He turned on the light in the bathroom so he could relieve himself. Sebastian had to cut himself short when the loud ring of the telephone startled him.
"Benet?" he said into the phone.
"Seb? Yeah, it’s me. I’m all right now, babe. Don’t worry."
"Don’t worry? Benet, where are you? What do you mean you’re all right now?"
"I’m in the emergency room at Harlem Hospital. Can you pick me up, babe? I’ll tell you what happened when you get here, okay?"
"Of course. I’ll be right there. Love you, Benet."
"Just hurry, Seb."
At first he thought they had been disconnected, then Sebastian realized she just hung up. He snatched up the clothes he had been wearing earlier from the floor. He gathered his long locks and pushed them under his green knitted cap. He thought about flagging a cab, but figured it would be better to call for one to meet him out front. It was about twelve blocks from where he was on 145th Street and St Nicholas to Harlem Hospital on 135th and Lenox.
The car arrived in five minutes as the dispatcher had said it would. The short ride was like an eternity to Sebastian. He thanked the driver and told him to keep the change. The warm summer air had not let up during the night. There weren’t many people waiting in emergency. Sebastian spotted Benet immediately. It was hard to miss the tall woman with her fiery red afro and freckles. Benet Champion was an unconventional beauty. She was long and gangly, but it became her so well. She wore tattered jeans with one of Sebastian’s black tee shirts knotted at her waist. Sebastian often told her that she should try to model. She always laughed him off and said she was happy being a special education teacher; it was a lot more fulfilling.
He walked up to her and enfolded her in his arms. They stood equal in height, but she let him cradle her against his shoulder like a child. "What happened to you? I was really worried when you didn’t come home. Talk to me, tell me."
He could feel her trying to control her sobs. "Oh, Seb. I know things are going to be different between us now."
"What are you talking about, woman? Please, let me in on what went on tonight."
She led him over to a row of seats that were out of earshot from the others waiting to be seen. "I went out with some of the girls for dinner like you already know. I was the only one coming back uptown on the D train so we went off in opposite directions." Her voice caught as she tried to finish the story. She looked at him with a deep sadness. She began to trace the outline of his "chinky eyes" as she called them. Benet barely spoke above a whisper. "I was raped tonight, Seb. Some monster raped me with a knife to my throat. He raped me. He raped me!"
Sebastian folded his arms around her as tightly as he could. Benet had begun to shout out then. A couple of women who were waiting with small children in their arms, clicked their tongues and shook their heads in pity. They quickly turned away when Sebastian glanced at them.
"Oh, Ney. I’m so sorry. Are you hurt? What did the doctor’s say?"
She recounted the humiliating exam. She told him there was some bruising between her thighs. Benet also said that she was still a little sore, but otherwise physically all right. She lowered her head when she informed him that it would be a little while before she got the results of her AIDS test.
Sebastian tried not to show his despair. He knew Benet needed him to be strong. Why did it have to happen? Why didn’t he go with her? All that was of no use now and so he wouldn’t waste his time and energy on it. "Are you finished here? Do you want to go home now?"
"Yes, I’m ready to get out of here." She picked up the knapsack she had left on a gurney. Sebastian raised his hand to hail a cab, but Benet lowered it. "Let’s walk home."
He didn’t think that was such a good idea, but he knew his woman. He grasped her hand and they made their way back home. "I love you, Ney. It’s going to be all right."
Benet just looked straight ahead. Her only answer was a light squeeze of his hand. Sebastian could see the tears glistening on her face. He had already told himself that he was going to try his best to make things feel like normal. Then he cursed his stupidity; how could she ever be the same? "Are you hungry? Wanna pick up something from Kennedy’s?"
"Nah, I just want to feel my bed beneath me. Maybe I’ll fix a cup of Sleepy Time or something later." She looked at her man. "How was your night?"
"That is hardly important, Ney."
"Just humor me. I don’t feel like talking about the other thing just now."
"I just did a little bit of sketching. Then I rode my bike for awhile," he felt that he should be offering her words of comfort, but he didn’t want to push it and she didn’t seem to want them.
She reached up and pulled the hat off his head freeing his long dreads. Benet planted a shy kiss on his mouth. It was as if she wanted to see if he would flinch or something. Sebastian returned the kiss as gently as possible. "Seb, I changed my mind. Can we stop off and get a drink somewhere?"
"Whatever you want, baby."
They wound up buying a bottle of something from an all night liquor store. Once in the apartment Benet headed straight for the shower. While she was cleaning up, Sebastian put on her favorite CD. Macy Gray. Ordinarily he would join her in the shower, but decided against it. Then he wondered if she would take it as him treating her different. He was really confused. This was not going to be easy for either of them.
Benet came into the bedroom dressed in a terry cloth robe. "Oooh, Macy. You always know what I need, thanks."
"What you needed was for me to be there for you tonight," he said before he could hold it back.
"Seb, you were there for me tonight. Thank you for that, too."
"Can we just lay down together?"
"Yeah, we can. Just don’t talk, okay? There’s nothing to talk about for awhile, all right?"
Sebastian didn’t agree with that, but he didn’t press. He wanted to know if there would be an investigation. Did she want to go for counseling? Could he love her any better?
Michelle De Leon graduated cum laude from City College of New York with a bachelor's degree in English and Creative Writing. She is the author of Once Upon a Family Tree and Love to the Third, a book of novellas. She lives in Atlanta, Georgia, where she is working on her next novel.
For more information, you can email Michelle
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